You're not imagining it, and your child isn't being difficult. There's often a hidden sense behind these struggles: interoception. I’ll tell you all about it, and give you three practical strategies you can do starting today.
What's going on
We’ve all heard of the basic 5 senses: sight, hearing, touch, smell, and taste. But there are other, lesser-known senses. But there are more, lesser-known senses. One of those lesser known senses is interoception. Interoception is the sense that tells us what's happening inside our bodies. It’s the sense that helps our brain understand the signals that our body gives us - signals like a growling stomach, a full bladder, a pounding heart, or thirst. For neurodivergent (ND) kids - the interoception sensory system can be interrupted, and it can be hard for parents and caregivers to notice whether that is what’s going on. Those body signals do two jobs: they tell us what our body needs (food, water, toilet, rest, space from others), and they're the building blocks of emotions. And interoception is different for everyone - a racing heart and tight chest are what "I'm getting anxious” feels like for me - but for you it might feel like a queasy stomach, and for your child it might feel like tight shoulders and shortness of breath. This difference in how our bodies process signals is why it can be so hard for parents, teachers, and friends to understand why a child just can’t seem to ~get it~ when an adult describes a feeling or asks why the child can’t just go get a drink of water without being told. When interoception is disrupted in a child, frustration doesn’t show up as a quiet rumble - it arrives as a full meltdown. The bathroom signal goes unnoticed until it's urgent. Hunger and pain sneak up until they come on STRONG and seemingly suddenly. On the inside, the early warning system just isn't loud enough yet. But have no fear - there are so many things that can help your child develop their interoceptive skills! When we approach building this skill it isn't about fixing your child or correcting "bad" behavior. Every child's inner experience is unique, and the goal is gentle curiosity; we want to help ND kids get to know their own body signals.
What to try
Narrate your own body signals out loud. "My tummy is growling, I think that's my hungry signal." Stay curious, not corrective. There are no wrong answers about how they may be feeling. Let your child be the expert on their own body. Build in regular bathroom, water, and snack check-ins, so a missed signal doesn't become a crisis.
When to bring in support
It's worth reaching out if meltdowns are frequent and disrupting daily life, if toileting stays a struggle past the typical age, if your child often misses hunger, pain, or illness in ways that affect their safety, or if you've tried these things and still feel stuck. An OT trained in interoception can pinpoint where your child's body awareness is strong, where it's still growing, and build a plan around it.
Ready to talk?
I love helping neurodivergent children build their interoception skills. Empower Kids OT is a private-pay, in-home pediatric OT practice serving families in Onondaga County. We work one-on-one with parents and kids in your home, on your routines, with strategies built for your specific child.
